Amidst the marriage virus attacking me and my friends 'tis season, I have decided to research about the issue and bring a possitive outcome on us been single or in the middle of a "relationship" ('cuz u know what I mean considering the culture we live in and the men we tend to date, we are far from having a serious concept of that).
Within my research I had found such an enlightening truth: we are always pressuring ourselves on having "company", on when are we getting married and just not enjoying our life. Remember that other entry I wrote: "Your life revolves around your own story, your own adventures". Well, I have found an article in a funky website with these "Sanity Saving Vows" I wanted to share with my few readers. Please, I'd like to note I don't want to seem like trashing tradition but lightening the load on us women, who are spending too much time tied to tabues without allowing ourselves real growth, which in the end will only lead us to our own happiness with a really great somebody or not, in a thousand years or not; but in the mean time...
...I'll love the skin I'm in. :P
"Sanity Saving Vows
I promise not to grade myself based on whether or not I have said I do.
I know that while falling in love is great, it is not as easy as buying the right perfume/cosmetic/weight-loss product, though billions of dollars are spent trying to make me believe it is.
I won't be bummed about not getting invited to the smug married dinner club because I will be out on the town with my new fabulous single friends.
I will stop making lists of male friends with good genetic attributes who could be potential sperm donors because I'm twenty-eight (the writer of the article) and nowhere near tying the knot.
I will relish my complete liberty and my ability to join the circus in New Zealand if I see fit because I don't have to factor someone else into my decision.
I will spend more time doing things that make me feel proud of my independence and competence so that I never “need” a man but I won't beat myself up for wanting one.
When I get really down about being alone, I will remember that the first 120 days of a new relationship are full of lust, excitement, and sweetness and I still have another 120 days to look forward to.
I realize that there are a ton of married women who would kill to be as free and breezy as I am. So for all of them, I am going to live it up and do my best to justify their jealousy.
I won't put up an inspirational poster by my desk or anything, but I will live every day as if it's my last single one."
Lovely! So I hope you girls read this and enjoy it. Don't be offended if you get to lose your independence, time, self-interest before me. I will make sure I love every second of this uncertain journey, I'm just 23 so I still have 5 years before getting as old as that article's writer!
I have tons of people to love right now, I have my girls! ("Vitchess"!!! Yao yao, Represent-ing!) and the crazy MF's who accompany us :P, I have my family, I have my dog!; they have a real relationship with me, a job, a career to get serious with, another job and lots of plans.
As women of this era, we should be focused on using the influence and power we are now given in fixing the wrongs, curing the sick, or just humbly changing the world. There's just so much we can do with our time now, if you don't know what it is, I guess then it's really time to discover these things.
Peace!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
What you DON’T do:
When you have had an overprotected life, is hard to know if what you’ve missed was truly necessary or not. I just read in a book today:” For a child, destroying his toys is part of his process of discovering the world that surrounds him”. In general, for all human beings, taking active part on life and its situations is the way that we pursuit the discovery.
Sometimes, we are kept in our mother’s wombs for too long; long enough to become accustomed to certain commodities that will stop us from trying new things. I feel as if I’ve been in that womb for 22 years, and the first day that I lived by myself, was the first day I saw ‘life as I now know it’. It’s a delicious, addictive feeling, this one of freedom. It came make you succumb to its pleasures and keep you in a stage of extasis long enough for you to know you no longer control things.
So here I have a dichotomy (yay, I got to use a BIG word). I have the overprotective mother in me telling me it’s better to go slow, and the adventurous ‘tineya’ saying:”Carpe Diem! And just seize the day”. Well, I have learned both are right, the mom and the teen, you just have to discern when to let each one come out. Common sense is the key to everything, and good will always be good; so as long as we stick to doing what we know best applied to this new situations, we’ll get the correct answer.
Sometimes, we are kept in our mother’s wombs for too long; long enough to become accustomed to certain commodities that will stop us from trying new things. I feel as if I’ve been in that womb for 22 years, and the first day that I lived by myself, was the first day I saw ‘life as I now know it’. It’s a delicious, addictive feeling, this one of freedom. It came make you succumb to its pleasures and keep you in a stage of extasis long enough for you to know you no longer control things.
So here I have a dichotomy (yay, I got to use a BIG word). I have the overprotective mother in me telling me it’s better to go slow, and the adventurous ‘tineya’ saying:”Carpe Diem! And just seize the day”. Well, I have learned both are right, the mom and the teen, you just have to discern when to let each one come out. Common sense is the key to everything, and good will always be good; so as long as we stick to doing what we know best applied to this new situations, we’ll get the correct answer.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
From nothing to it in minutes:
The story about how I got lost in my mind and came back before lunch :P
(I'll explain why the confusion, made a mistake a while ago and can't forgive myself for it yet)
I really need to write, yet all I can do is wander in my mind how to put these words on this file. I’m too sleepy and I’m very confused. Don’t know what to tell myself, don’t know how to act, and don’t know who to go to, if there's anybody to go to. I don't want to go back to the confused, insecure, little girl. There's been so much hard work in the last few months to get where I am. Right now all I can say is: Hi, my name is Socrates and ‘all I know is that I know nothing’. If I could name this entry without ending, I’d call it “Where is my mind?” like The Pixies song.
“- But easy, just breath, one step at a time, then it will all disperse. “
There is no hurry, I just have to survive. Poise, grace, poise, grace, poise…it’s happening; it’s going away.
I believe the hardest thing to let go are the keen desires of “my flesh”. Oh yeah, my flesh. Sometimes I feel as if I have been watching more soap operas than any other girl I know, because the expectations I have of people and life are just simply uncanny and something like sci-fi.
This (writing on this blog) is an exercise, a therapy, to make my body understand it cannot function that way anymore. I can’t give into the impulses of peachy shades of lies. (Then I stop and wonder what to write next). I have an awful lot to say, but I know that after I type it, it will have my signature forever, and it’ll become ‘what she said’, so I have to be careful before tattooing any bitter idea into my head.
Sometimes the spur of the moment is not the right time, for nothing. We get ourselves used to automatic reactions, instead of working hard on fixing those flaws. Just yesterday I found myself in a very heroic situation, where my brain stepped up and told my body to chill. So it may be hard to let go of my keen bull… but it’s not impossible. (Ladies and gents, She’s back!”)
I’m almost certain that these feelings have nothing do with our hearts but with our hopes of filling empty spaces with any material available. Plus the textures and consistence seems so much like the real one, we confuse ourselves. We have been educated to fit patterns and our need to fit those, drive us outside our own pathways.
It’s part of growth to go through those things and truly accept that we are doing wrong, we are making wrong choices, and these things do not go away with time; they fade with practice. But just to warn you, we have to create strategies to reach the goal in the game, we really have to focus, that way the mistakes won’t be in vain.
Oh great, I just vented all my pain in paper, and made origami with it. Cool!. So to end this entry, I admit that yesterday I wanted to act like a girl but my body reminded me that I’m a woman. I just can’t afford to lose how far I’ve gotten in the last three months, regardless of the beautiful colors on the butterflies around me.
(I'll explain why the confusion, made a mistake a while ago and can't forgive myself for it yet)
I really need to write, yet all I can do is wander in my mind how to put these words on this file. I’m too sleepy and I’m very confused. Don’t know what to tell myself, don’t know how to act, and don’t know who to go to, if there's anybody to go to. I don't want to go back to the confused, insecure, little girl. There's been so much hard work in the last few months to get where I am. Right now all I can say is: Hi, my name is Socrates and ‘all I know is that I know nothing’. If I could name this entry without ending, I’d call it “Where is my mind?” like The Pixies song.
“- But easy, just breath, one step at a time, then it will all disperse. “
There is no hurry, I just have to survive. Poise, grace, poise, grace, poise…it’s happening; it’s going away.
I believe the hardest thing to let go are the keen desires of “my flesh”. Oh yeah, my flesh. Sometimes I feel as if I have been watching more soap operas than any other girl I know, because the expectations I have of people and life are just simply uncanny and something like sci-fi.
This (writing on this blog) is an exercise, a therapy, to make my body understand it cannot function that way anymore. I can’t give into the impulses of peachy shades of lies. (Then I stop and wonder what to write next). I have an awful lot to say, but I know that after I type it, it will have my signature forever, and it’ll become ‘what she said’, so I have to be careful before tattooing any bitter idea into my head.
Sometimes the spur of the moment is not the right time, for nothing. We get ourselves used to automatic reactions, instead of working hard on fixing those flaws. Just yesterday I found myself in a very heroic situation, where my brain stepped up and told my body to chill. So it may be hard to let go of my keen bull… but it’s not impossible. (Ladies and gents, She’s back!”)
I’m almost certain that these feelings have nothing do with our hearts but with our hopes of filling empty spaces with any material available. Plus the textures and consistence seems so much like the real one, we confuse ourselves. We have been educated to fit patterns and our need to fit those, drive us outside our own pathways.
It’s part of growth to go through those things and truly accept that we are doing wrong, we are making wrong choices, and these things do not go away with time; they fade with practice. But just to warn you, we have to create strategies to reach the goal in the game, we really have to focus, that way the mistakes won’t be in vain.
Oh great, I just vented all my pain in paper, and made origami with it. Cool!. So to end this entry, I admit that yesterday I wanted to act like a girl but my body reminded me that I’m a woman. I just can’t afford to lose how far I’ve gotten in the last three months, regardless of the beautiful colors on the butterflies around me.
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