Sorry, But you are a Girl!

In an intent of comprehending my own ways, and follow the humanity's weekly trend of "zots", I'm trying to become a more serious writer by portraying in my terms what I think is the "moral" of the message this week. Yesterday, I had an enlightening "Gossip Girl" marathon with my sister and caught up with a perfectly fitted phrase to answer my writer's block: "A writer must write about what they know". After this the bitter writer would encourage his protege to find his own Bukowski (some crazy guy who shot an apple off his head) to encounter some of the thrill his writing was missing. Well, I don't need Bukowski, he's 50% of me.

So, off to the serious business!

Today is not like that day when I came home to write about random acts of redemption and self praisement. I have an inquiry. I have just crossed path with a group of interesting young women who think life should be taken for what it is. However, despite their bigger efforts to accept it, they end up in a couch bragging about how lonely their lovelifes really are. Now, How do u differ right from wrong?

When a young girl is growing up, mothers cannot stop repeating those "rules of proper behavior". I don't mean to say that I agree with all the traditional nonsense, which I'm not planning to abord in this paragraph, but I think that 50% of that is common sense, and we are lacking huge amounts of it. If it hurts, we want to stop the pain, we don't put the hand on the wound and rip our own limbs out. Then why do we let others?

I don't think I have to dig deep in the subject for the purpose of this blog entry to be comprehended. I'm offended by the way some of us, women, are portraying ourselves to be "disposable"; when a simple "I want...", or better yet, a simple "I demand...", can change it all for better.

What we think we want is not what we deserve. Unfortunately, here in Latin America we have been fed to settle with whatever we get. I once found a very eye opening article in Cosmo (yeah, "the" Cosmo). It was written by Candace Bushnell, the author of the famous book Sex and the City (yeah, "that" Sex and the City) and it mention a few details Moses obmitted from the Commandments:

1. "No man is coming to thy rescue". Translated to: There's no Prince Charming! As in reference to that man with the qualities you love...but don't have yourself. We should be developing those virtues in ourselves, and not expect another volatile human being to use them in our favor. Odds are short.

2."Love is not guaranteed". No, you will always have that. It's not a right. Nobody has to love you, but yourself. By this, I'm not trying to kill anyone hopes, but build some true foundation over that fact that happiness comes from within our own selves. (Gosh! didn't take me long to figure that one out).

3."If the sex is earth-shattering...". Then grab onto something so you won't fall!. Actually, a very important element of a relationship is that intimate communication, however, as we all know relationships have other factors too. But as I said before ...grab onto something and congrats!.

4."You will know when the ideal guy comes". There will be no doubts, no background check needed, quizzes nor blood tests. Also, something to have in mind, the reciprocation of those feelings, because that person has to feel the same too. It's better not to rush, the signs do not always come right away.

5."Imitate". When asking guys, which are they're priorities, they have answered; career and goals. The most important of what I have read in that article is that:"Your life revolves around your own story, your own adventures".

It should be more about where life takes you and what you learn of these "guy situations". I know it's extremely hard to find something worth-while but in the mean time, why not enjoy our own time. So, it sounds a bit ridiculous, it's not an invitation to celibacy, but it is indeed an invitation, to spending time with the most important person: you. Your goals, your hopes, your real desires. We don't even apply enough time on getting these things done to give up on them, then...UUUUH Cute boy spotted!!!. Our lifeplan shatters again, their lifeplan doesn't.

Love boys, great friends, sweet boyfriends (sometimes jiijij) but seriously girls, let's a get a grip.

If I don't take care of myself, who will?

Zots on Freedom and Changes

So I wasn't aware tonight would be one of those...

...Yeah, those nights when u get home from a party or something and u r all pumped! the music is still beating!!uuuh hear the bass!!!...Then PLOP!, it goes away.

I know it's time to sleep and I'm working in 5 hours, but please cut me some slack, I never had this freedom, nor dreamed to experience it; yet I feel it been wasted, on a mediocre paying job, a never ending career (fully my responsability) and a bunch of people on my ass!.

Freedom is not that pretty, for those of you who think my life is just peachy, there's so much to balance and there's little time to do it all. Then I lay down and think, when will I have time to do all I need without sacrificing my sleeping time, Should I cut the only thing that eases my ancient pains ? ("music and outings" as I'd like to scientifically call them), Change my stressful job for a better paying, easier chore? Should I throw myself for adoption? Move countries? Listen to the voices inside or outside? Oh please I even forgot my so, but so, encouraging career.

One day I got me, the next day I lose myself. One day I found a small book, and the book showed me the way. It didn't say go "right", but with the correct choice of words showed me that it can all be done, one thing at the time.

Change is possible.

When I began this journey of living by myself, I really thought I could pull it off. Jejejeje Please join me on my laughter when the moment came and me plus my "huge will to spend" and my "amazing organization" found the way to crash and burn.

Then the time came, a year later, when I had to go thru the silliest heart failure (which always happens, but seems I don't get enough of it) to figure: What the f#$% have I been doing with my time?.

When you feel out of place, is because you have to get to know yourself. Figure yourself out, just to know where do you really want to go…so you can be home, the place where you really belong.

If you find your true calling in life and path your way towards those goals, you will find your way to your “place”; where you will always "belong" and where the people who cares automatically will show up.

And if you just go around circles and get back to the beginning, then sorry to tell but that yucky place is yours... Nah, just kidding. However, the deal is to accept, that in order to get the changes you want, you will have to accept some others.

Kudos to me for my new beginning, debt FREE, money FREE (yeah, I'm broke again), stress-FULL, yet LOVE FULL, FULLy happy and with better expectations for the new year and the new woman.

Iral

P.S.:
Excuse my grammar, writing skills and awful prose for the night. I'm tired plus I have to wake up in 3 hours and I really wanted to post my fresh thoughts.

Ode to a Song

To start my blog, I will choose as my first theme Music. I capitalize the first letter of this word, making it a proper noun because I have always considered it to be one of the main aspects of my life.

Music has the power to cure any worry:

-To shorten your huge workload.
-Mend your broken heart.
-Kill your anger.
-Make the bus go faster; specially when you are riding from Moca to Santiago (there's a sweaty lady next to you, the baby crying on front, and the nasty looking dude who swears you will indeed give him your number).

And those are just a few of my reasons, but if I allow myself to go on, I will not have enough space to express the totality of my love towards my music library and my mp3 player. So, in order to continue your enlightment with one of my oldies, I will let you know that the next piece I will quote, was written by myself in a time of confusion, exhaustion, and desperation; where a song was the only escape to my struggle. Enjoy!

This is an email and a journal entry on my last.fm account. I sent this to A Shoreline Dream, for Saturday Morning (their great song):

"A Shoreline Dream27 Feb 2007, 23:59
Most of the time, you never have the opportunity to tell an artist directly the way their music makes you feel. When music can change your whole day from the beginning of it, or simply change the velocity to which your heart beats, that's when I understand the purpose has been met. That's what music is supposed to do, touch people, move them and inspire them.

I'll admit this I have a very complex personality and few things get to me. I've been so frantic lately, it has been out of my own comprehension. I have 1 week listening to a song every morning to make sure I'll start my day differently. I'm getting so addicted to it!.

Saturday Morning from A Shoreline Dream is just delicious. Seriously. Everyone whose heart beats for music, has to hear it. It would not be fair at all, to deprive a good music lover from it. As soon as you hear it you will have a time and a favorite place to hear it. You will be relating smells, sensations and flavors to it. It's just the sound of nature perfected. They couldn't have found a better name. Their whole concept is to me like waves, sound waves. As if u could hear whispers, shadows, movement translated to a pentagram.

I want to thank this band, because your music is what is putting me through my days. Thank you for putting breath into me, every single morning when I listen to this song. I cannot begin to describe the way I feel with it. Your sounds, your style, the way you are fixing up every single note in a pentagram has erased any negative thought of my mind. It has given me a reason to wake at ease, with a positive perspective on things.

Thank you seriously for taking the time to make such an incredible music. Thank you, because you have taken the time to work into delivering a total trip to my senses. It's just so thickly beautiful. Be proud, be damn proud of what you arr accomplishing, because I may be one but there are probably others who will agree with me on this. "

It has been a while, and the band has worked a lot ever since. Their music only gets better.

Please feel free to check them out at http://www.ashorelinedream.com/

Laterz!