So I wasn't aware tonight would be one of those...
...Yeah, those nights when u get home from a party or something and u r all pumped! the music is still beating!!uuuh hear the bass!!!...Then PLOP!, it goes away.
I know it's time to sleep and I'm working in 5 hours, but please cut me some slack, I never had this freedom, nor dreamed to experience it; yet I feel it been wasted, on a mediocre paying job, a never ending career (fully my responsability) and a bunch of people on my ass!.
Freedom is not that pretty, for those of you who think my life is just peachy, there's so much to balance and there's little time to do it all. Then I lay down and think, when will I have time to do all I need without sacrificing my sleeping time, Should I cut the only thing that eases my ancient pains ? ("music and outings" as I'd like to scientifically call them), Change my stressful job for a better paying, easier chore? Should I throw myself for adoption? Move countries? Listen to the voices inside or outside? Oh please I even forgot my so, but so, encouraging career.
One day I got me, the next day I lose myself. One day I found a small book, and the book showed me the way. It didn't say go "right", but with the correct choice of words showed me that it can all be done, one thing at the time.
Change is possible.
When I began this journey of living by myself, I really thought I could pull it off. Jejejeje Please join me on my laughter when the moment came and me plus my "huge will to spend" and my "amazing organization" found the way to crash and burn.
Then the time came, a year later, when I had to go thru the silliest heart failure (which always happens, but seems I don't get enough of it) to figure: What the f#$% have I been doing with my time?.
When you feel out of place, is because you have to get to know yourself. Figure yourself out, just to know where do you really want to go…so you can be home, the place where you really belong.
If you find your true calling in life and path your way towards those goals, you will find your way to your “place”; where you will always "belong" and where the people who cares automatically will show up.
And if you just go around circles and get back to the beginning, then sorry to tell but that yucky place is yours... Nah, just kidding. However, the deal is to accept, that in order to get the changes you want, you will have to accept some others.
Kudos to me for my new beginning, debt FREE, money FREE (yeah, I'm broke again), stress-FULL, yet LOVE FULL, FULLy happy and with better expectations for the new year and the new woman.
Iral
P.S.:
Excuse my grammar, writing skills and awful prose for the night. I'm tired plus I have to wake up in 3 hours and I really wanted to post my fresh thoughts.
...Yeah, those nights when u get home from a party or something and u r all pumped! the music is still beating!!uuuh hear the bass!!!...Then PLOP!, it goes away.
I know it's time to sleep and I'm working in 5 hours, but please cut me some slack, I never had this freedom, nor dreamed to experience it; yet I feel it been wasted, on a mediocre paying job, a never ending career (fully my responsability) and a bunch of people on my ass!.
Freedom is not that pretty, for those of you who think my life is just peachy, there's so much to balance and there's little time to do it all. Then I lay down and think, when will I have time to do all I need without sacrificing my sleeping time, Should I cut the only thing that eases my ancient pains ? ("music and outings" as I'd like to scientifically call them), Change my stressful job for a better paying, easier chore? Should I throw myself for adoption? Move countries? Listen to the voices inside or outside? Oh please I even forgot my so, but so, encouraging career.
One day I got me, the next day I lose myself. One day I found a small book, and the book showed me the way. It didn't say go "right", but with the correct choice of words showed me that it can all be done, one thing at the time.
Change is possible.
When I began this journey of living by myself, I really thought I could pull it off. Jejejeje Please join me on my laughter when the moment came and me plus my "huge will to spend" and my "amazing organization" found the way to crash and burn.
Then the time came, a year later, when I had to go thru the silliest heart failure (which always happens, but seems I don't get enough of it) to figure: What the f#$% have I been doing with my time?.
When you feel out of place, is because you have to get to know yourself. Figure yourself out, just to know where do you really want to go…so you can be home, the place where you really belong.
If you find your true calling in life and path your way towards those goals, you will find your way to your “place”; where you will always "belong" and where the people who cares automatically will show up.
And if you just go around circles and get back to the beginning, then sorry to tell but that yucky place is yours... Nah, just kidding. However, the deal is to accept, that in order to get the changes you want, you will have to accept some others.
Kudos to me for my new beginning, debt FREE, money FREE (yeah, I'm broke again), stress-FULL, yet LOVE FULL, FULLy happy and with better expectations for the new year and the new woman.
Iral
P.S.:
Excuse my grammar, writing skills and awful prose for the night. I'm tired plus I have to wake up in 3 hours and I really wanted to post my fresh thoughts.
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